It's obvious there's a nefarious hidden reality. Tell me the truth, was the HIV scare premeditated and was I gaslit into taking PrEP? They say no one is engaged in a plot against me. The reason they don't confess is there's nothing to confess to.
Maybe the reason they don't confess to gaslighting and scaring me about HIV is they really didn't do it? I think they did and they're afraid to tell me because they think it'll become a powder keg. They're wrong. I don't want to go to jail or the psychiatric hospital.
Maybe they're being honest and transparent with me about the HIV scare. There's no nefarious hidden reality. I need to catch it, check it, change it. It was my own anxiety that made me take the PrEP, not gaslighting. It really is exactly what it appears to be at face value.
Are they being honest and transparent with me about everything? There was no pharmacological abuse? No one was secretly trying to kill me while creating a facade they were helping? Maybe everyone's intentions were good? It was the middle school bullies who intended to hurt me!
I'm afraid the hidden realities are not only as bad as I'm imagining, but they're even worse. If they ever confess I'll be STEAMING ANGRY. It's important if they tell me to not make an impulsive decision out of anger. But anyone who was put through this has a right to be angry.
Maybe I shouldn't be afraid because no one is lying or gaslighting me. Everything is exactly as it appears to be at face value. So relax. Don't worry. It's all good. Trust the process. Get socially engaged. And even if I'm right - ignorance is bliss. But I'd rather know the truth.
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