For over the past four years I wanted an explanation as to why Kelly did what she did with PREMEDITATED INTENT. They've unofficially told me. I basically want to disappear. I want to say to the art class woman don't even bother coming over my house - just get lost.
It's not this art class woman's fault I was betrayed and hurt by someone I genuinely loved and trusted. I just couldn't care less about developing the relationship. But the key to recovery is to socially engage and try to find love. Maybe the next woman won't brutally hurt me.
For what it's worth, I'm not even angry Kelly gave me a mental black and blue, more crushed and devastated because I was crying out for love and trusted her. But maybe when I discover the extent of the gaslighting and hidden realities it'll turn into anger.
It's my choice. I can choose to be positive (no pun intended) and give this woman a chance. Or I can be obsessed with having Kelly tell me why - which they all have UNOFFICIALLY done. They haven't told me why on the record, but they've told me the reason.
They conspired. They did it to me. They've unofficially confessed why. If I didn't want to go to jail or the psychiatric hospital - which of course I don't - there's nothing I can do. So focus on finding love and happiness, not getting revenge on my torturers. Live life well.
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