Although I appreciate the effort at understanding the staring at the wall lifestyle, I don't recommend you actually try to copy it unless you're a movie star who is doing it to understand my mindset. But to normal people out there, yeah, solitude drives you insane.
If you think you're on a self-destructive path to a mental breakdown - you probably are. Change your path. Sometimes the road less traveled leads you to a solitary and brutal metaphorical death. Everyone else is working 9-5 with their families - maybe that was the right way?
You can drop off the face of the earth. The key to recovery is to socially engage, develop interpersonal relationships, get financially independent, and to get self-esteem in real life, not in a solitary daydreamland. Assuming I'm not neurologically damaged from it - I still can.
Except for severely mentally ill loners, can people relate to the complete isolation lifestyle? Humans are social animals. We're not meant to be alone. We're meant to socially engage. I've made progress coming out of my solitary fantasyland. I lost a lot of time alone in my head.
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