I'm Fed Up

I don't know if anybody can relate to this but I'll try to explain it to you... I'm fed up, I'm fed up with my parents, I do not even want to be around them, I do not even want to see them. We have interactions - but I'm just fed up living at home with my parents at 36 years old. I want a love life, I want friends, I want independence. But I'm so ashamed, I feel so dehumanized, I feel so defective and damaged that I want to stay at home and not even venture out into the world. I'm humiliated going to the art class, I'm humiliated going to the open mic. I just want to hide my shame at home. I feel so ashamed, especially after January 2020. I just want to hide at home, and almost curl into a fetal position like a wounded animal. Waiting at home - I'm waiting for Godot to rescue me. Nobody is coming to rescue me. I'm pouring my life down the drain. Fortunately, the world isn't full of people who are judgemental. Actually, the world is full of judgemental people. But not EVERYBODY looks at me in a critical way. I don't have to feel so extremely self-conscious. Go out there. Don't be humiliated. Don't feel dehumanized.