Time

When we're younger we have more energy. We can be like superman with no sleep. Then again, maybe that's mania? But you can accomplish superhuman feats if you're manic. But yeah, we get tired in the 30s. And we'll only get more tired in the 40s, 50s, and so on. It is what it is.

As long as you're able bodied and not in a nursing home in your 90s, I think people can do a lot at any age. The media glorifies the 20s when we are young and vibrant. However, my 20s sucked. I'm coming back with determination in my 30s. Hopefully, I have a lot of life ahead.

I lost a lot of time in solitude, having no fun, crippled in a schizoaffective daydreamland - what should've been my best years - my 20s. Though, the psychopharmacologist once described the home environment as a " powder keg" - no one had nefarious intent. My chains were internal.

ASSUMING I don't get a terminal cancer diagnosis soon, I SUSPECT I will, there's no medical evidence this is true. Come back with determination and live life now. If you asked my mother, she'd be dead of cancer 20 years ago. She's still alive and healthy. Maybe it's hypochondria?

I don't think anyone wants me to get cancer. There's a woman, who I know from the fountain house, I didn't know her too well. She's a sweet friend / acquaintance. God forbid she took PrEP or something bad happened - I'd be heartbroken and start crying. I wish her the best.