Nobody has confessed this (just a SUSPICION), but they were playing a reckless prank on me, and were gaslighting me into being afraid of HIV. They were trying to scare me. They didn't expect me to step on debris or to take PrEP. I had a panic attack. They expected it to be funny.
Don't come to a feeling of conviction there is a hidden reality. Some say my brain is malfunctioning because of an evolutionary flaw. Or maybe it's having gotten bullied, being solitary, and daydreams being the source of my self-esteem. Regardless, it's schizoaffective disorder.
I'm surrounded by people who love me - and that included my ex-girlfriend. No one was trying to traumatize me and cause psychiatric hospitalizations. The prank gone wrong daydream might be a delusion. Accept everything at face value. Try not to discover a hidden reality.
I don't want to think they were pure evil. I was a vulnerable mental patient at rock bottom. Maybe they had good intentions? Unfortunately, they MAY HAVE underestimated what a vulnerable mental patient I was in 2019. Or maybe this is all fantasy becoming reality - a delusion.
Maybe none of it is delusional? Maybe they were sexual sadists who wanted to take my innocence from me? Maybe it really was premeditated torture? Stop coming to a feeling of conviction about what I SUSPECT. No one has confessed or corroborated this to me. There's no evidence.
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