They Betrayed Me

I'm coming to a very unpleasant realization that they betrayed me. They had nefarious intentions. They hurt me with premeditated intent. It was intentional. I think the worst part about it is not having taken PrEP. I don't think the worst part is even the trauma from feeling defective and damaged from the HIV scare. The worst part about it is the betrayal because the people who betrayed me I genuinely loved and trusted. I thought they had good intentions and were trying to help me, a vulnerable mental patient, recover. They didn't care about me at all. They were torturing me. It just hurts to know I was used and then discarded. It just hurts to know I was viewed as a piece of trash. It hurts to know I was nothing to these people, who took somebody who was at rock bottom and then discarded me like I was nothing. I was never anything more than a piece of meat, a piece of trash. It's just heartbreaking. I think when the anger passes, when everything passes, I think ultimately it's going to be heartbreaking, devastating, and it's going to crush me. I think when the years pass it'll be very sad.