I said to my father "I'm sorry for cursing at you, saying hurtful things, and so on. I was angry about the adverse side effects of the medications, felt forced into taking it, and was getting sadistic persecutor daydreams.
I feel like I'm not even being given a choice. They say take the 10 mg of abilify or psychiatric hospital. They won't even negotiate 5 mg or 7.5 mg. I feel forced into putting meds into my body that I don't want to take.
They have the narrative I need the medications - and maybe I do. But I feel forced into taking it. It's my body, but I have no choice. In years past, I'd accept it assuming their intentions were good - and even if they were, now in 2024, I question everything. I hate medicine.
The psychiatric medications are making me so tired, overeat, causes esophagus dysphasia, sexual dysfunction. Basically, what do they want - me to be a fat slob with no sexuality? Just leave me alone. I was fine this year off of my medication. I don't need the psychiatric hospital.
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